The Jewish Quarter of Jerusalem has always been one of my favorite places. Only a stone’s throw away from the Western Wall, and the panoramic horizon beyond, I often feel suspended between heaven and earth. Clearly, it was more than an “accident” that I was asked to meet the renowned heroine of the Jewish Quarter: Chaya Malka Abramson.

As I waited for Chaya Malka to arrive, I wasn't exactly sure what or whom  I would meet:  It's not every day you encounter a celebrity. I'd read Chaya Malka's fascinating story in her book, Who By Fire. I was totally bowled over by the depth of faith, wisdom, courage and honesty, all wrapped into one fine fabric.

As Chaya Malka looked me in the eyes, I knew that the story of the fire was as real as the concrete stone beneath my shoes. Her hands and face were clearly scarred, though hardly charred. Many years of intense treatments had done remarkable wonders for a burn victim whose face was once charcoal black. But her dazzling eyes were completely on fire, and I soon realized how my own heart and soul paled by comparison.

She told me that on one particular day she had excruciating back pain and was trying to ascertain the possible causes of it.

My own back pain subsided too at that moment. This was a person for whom the love of life and the love of her Creator were real. It was more than just a ritual in "counting your blessings" yet groaning within. I felt a vibrant, tangible flow of positive energy enveloping me and even embracing me. Maybe G-d was actually sending me a kiss too.

Here was a woman with two disfigured fingers on each hand and less fine-motor coordination than an average toddler, yet she was actually pouring me a glass of water – that was more than half full - and smiling all the while. Not that plastic, gift-wrapped sort of smile that peels off as soon as you try to disclose the contents inside. I mean something else. I mean something that evolves from the remotest place in our cognitive faculties, perhaps even a subconscious awareness that “I was granted a second lease on life. I did not die, nor did my children – and I was honored with the gift of life!” That's the kind of smile that makes our own “glass” of life seem to be brimming over in abundance. I had more than a thing to learn from this woman.

“I also told her, that one of our greatest Rabbis, always advised people to teach their children that you can't always have what you want in life. The Sage felt it was one of the most important lessons in life you could ever teach a child.”

There was a lot more I wanted to know about this amazing woman who sat right beside me. She had walked through fire, and she had sacrificed her well being for the welfare of someone else. Just how can such a thing be done? When she was brought to the hospital, she was tottering between life and death. To be precise, the doctors in the Burns Unit in Hadassah Hospital gave  her a 10 percent chance of survival. And even when she did survive the initial life–threatening period, she was left to contend with horrific burn treatments that no mortal soul could imagine.

In the book, her husband described the screaming from these treatments as bloodcurdling, as if someone was being murdered. I wanted to know just how someone could find the courage to face up to such moments of torture. How is it that she didn't just give up? As the book clearly states, many burn victims abandon hope and die, go crazy or become recluses from the terrible scars or deformities or both. Chaya Malka was very definite.

"This is something  for everyone to remember, ‘As soon as one  is  faced with a test, let this ingrained  message pop up, God doesn't test a person with anything he cannot pass.’”

By realizing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel one can overcome the hardships.

"The point is just to take it day by day, and not to try to deal with everything all at once."

I knew that I was treading deep waters, trying to fathom the length and depth of her long and intense journey through her anguish. Was it getting harder as time moved on? Now that all of the fanfare was dying down and the initial helpers and well-wishers had left, was it more difficult to return to daily functioning with the knowledge that one is limited?

"Actually, it's really getting easier," Chaya Malka told me. "With the passage of time, I've come to a greater acceptance of self … I feel I have found the real me, and I am not looking at the external me for self-gratification or fulfillment."

She told me how she was forced to grapple with issues of her image at an earlier age than most women do. What is a woman? What is a human being? Why did we come here in the first place? What happens to a woman when she gets older and notices wrinkles on her face and other signs of aging? Is she no longer a person of value?

And she certainly does consider herself a woman of value – and a woman with a purpose in life. After she recovered from this horrifying  condition, she proceeded to fulfill her divine mission as a mother. She nurtured the three children whom she saved, and then went on to have another seven! Today she is the mother of ten lovely children, thank God! Certainly a great feat, a real purpose and a bright future! When I asked her if it was difficult, she answered “ yes,but.”

"No. Actually, it was wonderful. I felt that this is what I had prayed so hard for in the first three days in the hospital, to be granted life in order to continue to be a wife and mother."

Her soft smile gave way to laughter, and she started recounting an anecdote that happened to her in England. She was asked to speak at several women's evenings in London, Manchester and Gateshead. Her hostess in Gateshead was pulling hot cakes out of the oven, and suddenly exclaimed,

"I love being a mommy!” This statement really wormed its way into Chaya Malka’s psyche. "I love being a mommy," she repeated with a British accent. “I feel that is my whole life, and that's what I struggled so hard to live for!"

She recounted her recollections of the feminist movement, which dictates that women have to have a career, and mother was certainly not on the choice list. Not even on the second-best list. Yet she never swam with the current, and her dream was a large family. And despite all odds she survived, and is now raising a family with honor, pride and dignity.

In fact, she even told me that public speaking really came to her as a surprise. She didn't consider herself a professional speaker, nor did she ever dream of it. This activity was something that evolved in the course of time following the publication of her book, but she didn't consider it a career. It was  an opportunity to inspire and strengthen others. It was no different than the volunteering she did in the burns unit of different hospitals. She wanted to give other people hope. Yes, better days were yet to come! And, no – don’t give up hope!

"And how did you feel after your first speech?" I asked.

"Well, actually I felt very strange. I was asked to speak in New York for some two to three thousand people in Boro Park. Zichron Shlomo Refuah Fund offered me a plane ticket, and I wanted to fly to New York to see my daughter in school there. I wasn't an experienced speaker, but I decided to do it anyway.

“What happened instead was that I cried through most of my speech. At the end of the evening, many ladies came up to me and asked me all sorts of questions. All of these questions were surprising, because I was sure I had answered all these questions in my talk already. People also began to cry to me and relate their own stories, and I wasn't sure how to console them and talk to them. I mean I was never trained to be a professional counselor."
It seemed strange to me that Chaya Malka was comparing herself to someone who was trained to listen and help, when in reality, the school of life had given her the very best training in listening, learning and loving. If only there were more people like her around – loneliness would be banished forever! I, too, sensed that I had met an old friend and that we had known each other for years.

Yet after the speech she spent much time delving into the questions people had asked her. She sat with her husband, looking up sources of our ancient Sages, and reviewing stories of  the Righteous. What is faith? What is pain? How did great people lend their ear to the distressed?
"I learned that if you're doing something which you know is God's will, then you must believe that you'll get special help from Heaven to accomplish that goal."

"Chaya Malka, did you feel that “added  help” while raising your children, who had undergone long separation periods while you were in treatment?"

"Well, it's really a difficult question to answer, because of course you expect me to say yes. Obviously, everything an adult goes through also becomes their child's test, so clearly God did help them also in their times of separation from me. They developed a stronger relationship with their grandparents and their father, which remain, a gift forever."

She also told me that the children became much more accepting and loving people. They matured and advanced with their hardships. They learned how to receive and accept people with physical limitations, and even love them. There was a lot more than a silver lining in every dark cloud. There were many dark clouds made of solid gold.
 
For me it was like the Passover  Seder on Chanuka, and the time to ask questions at a relentless pace. Yet I couldn't ask them all at once. And besides, Chaya Malka had to fetch her little girl from the school bus and give her something to eat. These were her “professional” obligations, and how could I keep her back from her holy work in the home with all of my musings and curiosities? We'd have to save the rest for the next time we'd meet. And I knew we'd meet again. She had already invited me over as she wished me good-bye and walked me down to the stairs that lead to the Western Wall.
I dropped a coin into the cup of a hunchbacked man and advanced with the stream of tourists past the lookout areas and onto the plaza of the Wailing Wall.

I was no longer suspended between Heaven and earth. I was just in the Heavens. My own glass of life seemed to be brimming over in abundance.